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In the market for a monster, Big D?
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Kirby: Right Back at Ya!

The N.M.E. Sales Guy[1] is one of the antagonists in Kirby: Right Back at Ya!, and is spokesperson and salesman of Nightmare Enterprises.

General Information

The N.M.E. Sales Guy arguably holds the second most important role in the company, and is responsible for bringing in the money. He treats his boss, eNeMeE, with utmost loyalty and respect.

The N.M.E. Sales Guy sells monsters to King Dedede, and makes the company a tidy sum in the process. He understands the capabilities of each of the monsters the company owns, and knows which would be right for each job. Quite commonly, he helps Dedede come up with plots to defeat Kirby.

The N.M.E. Sales Guy is always available around the clock to serve the company's clients, but King Dedede once called him during his lunch break. He occasionally refuses Dedede's requests due to his unpaid bills. He (or Nightmare) even sends a ghost in one episode to collect his due.

Even when he sends something either King Dedede or Escargoon orders that's meant to be a nice present for Kirby, he always disguises it as a nice gift. In reality, it always has a monster inside to get rid of Kirby. One example is in Kirby Takes the Cake when he sends a cake to Kirby but inside is Denjaa or D'Preciation Day when he sent a Jack-in-the-Box that was actually a Chuckie. Escargoon also knows this when he ordered a heart chip for his Escar-droid. While it made it unable to attack at first, the buttons on the shell were made to attack Kirby.

In the original Japanese version of the show, the N.M.E. Sales Guy is very polite. In the 4Kids dub, however, the N.M.E. Sales Guy is brash and manipulative, and speaks in the manner of a stereotypical used car dealer. He is highly successful in manipulating King Dedede to maximize the profits of the company, but King Dedede never sees through this, and believes that they are mutually trustworthy of each other. Escargoon, on the other hand, knows it and tries his best to make King Dedede reconsider, but his efforts are always in vain. In one case, however, Escargoon buys from the company for his own selfish desires.

Eventually, during the final attack on Nightmare Enterprises, Dedede and Escargoon arrived at the N.M.E. Sales Guy's office, and upon discovering his actual appearance, have Chef Kawasaki prepare food for them so Dedede could stuff the food down his throat, knowing the food tasted terrible as revenge in Fright to the Finish, along with all the numerous times he's swindled money of out of them. After hearing that Kirby had beaten Nightmare, he fled and his fate is unknown, although it is possible he was destroyed when the fortress was blown up, as he was not shown to warp to safety with the heroes (supported by the fact that in the Japanese version, he can be heard screaming during the explosion). Dedede also tries to call him with a phone he gave him, but it simply fuzzed away.

Physical Appearance

The N.M.E. Sales Guy's full appearance.

When the N.M.E. Sales Guy is seen, it is almost always on the large monitor in Dedede's castle, and his image is visible from chest up. He appears to be a very tall person, but he is actually very short. His facial features bear great resemblance to the company's overseer, Nightmare. He has a large chin, purple hair with green stripes, and almost always wears a pair of black-framed, orange-lensed sunglasses (he wears a pair of red-framed, blue-lensed ones in Abusement Park). The rest of his attire almost never changes - he dresses with a navy blue suit and a lavender tie, but he changes out into an orange set of traditional Japanese attire in The Pillow Case and The Kirby Quiz to celebrate the new year.

Despite the fact that his eyes are always obscured by the sunglasses and only the upper part of his body is visible, the rest of his face is highly expressive, especially his brows, and he tends to gesture with his hands a lot or straighten his glasses when he wishes to emphasize something important.

In all actuality, according to the finale, the N.M.E. Sales Guy is simply really short and squat, having no legs and has big, round, lavender-colored feet similar to those of Kirby (along with those of many other characters in the Kirby series).


Now that we know your opponent is Kirby, all our monsters have new improved attack powers. (gets beaten up by the Mini-Monsters) See what I mean?
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • A Blockbuster Battle
Well according to my calculations, your Nightmare Enterprises account shows an outstanding unpaid balance of 19 million in change, see?
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Beware: Whispy Woods!
Well, King Sucker's back to get his pocket picked again.
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • The Fofa Factor
It's like he's scratching a chalkboard! I can't take it! I'm sending Kirby back!
— The N.M.E. Sales Guy reeling from Mike Kirby's singing • Abusement Park
Hey! What do you think you're doing?!
— The N.M.E. Sales Guy when King Dedede is sending the newspapers the people of Cappy Town returned to him to Nightmare's Fortress • Watermelon Felon
Our new management director suggested that we give you a hands-on demonstration. I believe you've met. Say hello, Joe.
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Monster Management
As far as tourism goes, Sire, here's my opinion. You might as well rename Dream Land "Snoozeville"!
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Tourist Trap
So, they sprung you out of the slammer, Sire. It must have been a bum wrap. I can't imagine you stealing anything.
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Snack Attack - Part I
Very interesting. Well, if this space girl's as tough as you say she is, then I better send over the "big guy".
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Crusade for the Blade
It's not our fault he can't control his appetite! We made those snacks to fatten up Kirby, not you, sire.
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Fitness Fiend
It's a simple case of economics, D-Man. In the business world, you're what we call: a dead-beat.
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Waddle While You Work
Believe me! I hear where you guys are coming from, and if you care to fill out a complaint form, I'd be happy to pass it on to my superiors. Pleasing our customers is Nightmare Enterprises' top priority!
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Power Ploy
Hello, there! Welcome, Cappy race fans! Welcome to the opening day at Dream Land's beautiful new DDD Speedway! This exciting event is brought to you by Nightmare Enterprises: purveyor of fine monsters for all occasions including birthdays, anniversaries, engagement parties, baby showers--
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Born to Be Mild - Part I
I'll do the best I can, Your Majesty.
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • D'Preciation Day
I must say I'm quite impressed with our pudgy pink pal! Sure, he's the enemy and all, but for a little guy, he's got a lot a' guts.
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Air-Ride-in-Style - Part II
Our intelligence shows he may not be a 100% loyal subject, so if you spot anything suspicious, I want you to get in touch with me.
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Cappy Town Down
Bye-bye. It's always been a real pleasure double-dealing with you, Your Majesty. *laughs*
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Combat Kirby
Thanks for the tip-off, Big D. (to the other members of N.M.E.) Prepare for attack. Launch all Destroya ships immediately!
— The N.M.E. Sales Guy after King Dedede foolishly gives away Meta Knight's sneak attack plan • Combat Kirby
If you'd like to negotiate, you'll have to speak with my boss.
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Fright to the Finish
I may be shrimpy, but I'm a whale of a salesman.
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Fright to the Finish
*laughs* Kirby's falling right into our trap, thanks to you.
— N.M.E. Sales Guy • Fright to the Finish
I was completely disgusted!
— The N.M.E. Sales Guy after King Dedede and Escargoon have just forced him to taste Chef Kawasaki's cooking • Fright to the Finish

Related Quotes

The sales guy for Nightmare Enterprises (N.M.E.), a monster delivery service, seems to be hiding something. You'll likely never see this persuasive pitchman without his sunglasses. King Dedede is his #1 customer... although they've never met in person.
— Kirby: Right Back at Ya! character description • Nintendo Power magazines
You want monsters? He's got monsters! A super-slick salesman, this man in the monitor wears shades "24/7"... maybe to hide his evil intentions. King Dedede is his #1 chump ...I mean, customer.
— Character description • Kirby: Right Back at Ya! official English website and Nintendo Power magazines


Kirby Mass Attack (Japanese version)

Kirby Mass Attack (International version)

  • Although he was seen eating lunch in Dedede's Raw Deal, he reveals that NME employees aren't allowed to eat when he finally makes a real appearance in front of Dedede (Japanese version only), although this may be another one of his many bluffs just to deter Dedede from using the kitchen facilities. Then again, he may have purposefully been eating lunch in front of Dedede just so he could sell the sushi restaurant components to Dedede.
  • The N.M.E. Sales Guy is not the only salesperson at Nightmare Enterprises. This is revealed when he tries to become the employee of the year in Something to Sneeze At (dub only).
  • He makes a surprise appearance in the Strato Patrol EOS sub-game in Kirby Mass Attack, along with a revised Holy Nightmare logo in the Japanese version. In International versions, the background instead features a silhouette of Nightmare, as done in the 4Kids dub.
  • In the Japanese version of the anime, the N.M.E. Sales Guy and Nightmare share the same voice actor.

N.M.E. Sales Guy using an abacus

  • The N.M.E. Sales Guy is sometimes seen using a large abacus with a digital display to calculate the astronomical costs of his services. Though it is a very ancient calculating tool, the abacus is still widely used in Japan today, where it is known as a soroban.
  • His appearance could be a nod to the character Max Headroom, who also appeared through a monitor with his upper half only being visible while the rest of his body was obscured.