“Kirby’s Day Off”
(One day, just like any other day, Kirby decided that today was going to be DIFFERENT. He was tired of the fact that literally every single person that tried to invade the planet seemed to specifically target him. He decided he’d leave this up to everybody else for that day… And, you can imagine how that went…)
Dedede: KIRBY! SUSIE HALTMANN DEDEDONE UNDID THE PEACE TREATY THINGAMAJIG! NOW SHE’S TAKING OVER POPSTAR! YOU HAVE TO SAVE US!
Meta Knight: Kirby, remember Marx? I FORGOT TO FEED HIM, AND HE’S SUCKING UP THE WHOLE GALAXY!
Adeline: Kirby, my paintbrush broke and now the world is turning into a painting. I didn’t think that was a thing that could happen.
(Kirby yawns and turns over.)
Marx: I said I’M HUNGRYYYYYYYY.
Meta Knight: I GAVE YOU ALL OF THE FOOD IN DREAMLAND, AND YOU ATE THREE SOLAR SYSTEMS!
Marx: Yeah, it’s like compound interest. Except faster.
Dedede: … THAT DOESN’T MAKE NO SENSE.
Adeline: Hey guyyyyys, um, I think Dedede’s castle is getting eaten by a circle with a bunch of yellow eyes…
(Kirby’s eyes open for a second and he looks around and then goes back to sleep.)
Susie: Hey, no hard feelings, but resources are running low. Thanks for the planet. Sorry, Pinky.
Marx: It’s most likely my fault that resources are running low. I ATE SEVERAL PLANETS. And released some thing called “Drawcia”.
Adeline: … So this is all your fault?
Meta Knight: It’s kind of mine. … WAIT, NO IT’S NOT. IT’S KIRBY’S JOB TO FEED MARX. AND HE’S HERE SLEEPING.
Dedede: KIRBY! IM’A CLABBAH YOU IF YOU DON’T WAKE UP R I G H T N O W .
Marx: OOOOOOOOOOH that’s a PERFECT THING TO EAT. Kirby IS A WHOLE GALAXY. BLACK HOLE TIME.
Meta Knight: Everybody, go! I’m the only one here who’s dealt with the Nova’s power before.
Adeline: Um, are we going to do anything about the fact that our planet is being mechanized and turned into a painting?
Meta Knight: WE HAVE BIGGER FISH TO FRY. LIKE MARX.
Random Waddle Dee: Um, I don’t mean to make the issue worse, but a bunch of things came out of a mirror and started eating the civilians.
Marx: Oh, yeah, that thing… Nope, that wasn’t me, I have no idea what happened there.
(Kirby snores loudly)
Dedede: DA WORLD IS ENDING AND THERE’S NOTHING WE CAN DOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Meta Knight: We can still try to fight back. We have to gather everybody!
Adeline: I’m pretty sure that anybody left alive is out to get us.
Dedede: BUT KIRBY COULD FIX THIS WHOLE THING IN FOUR SECONDS!
Magolor: Hello everybody. You seem to be in trouble. My amusement park got eaten by the same amusement park but shaded black, and now I’m sad. … So, anyway, how’s your day been?
Marx: Oh, I was just going to EAT THEM ALL.
Magolor: You don’t have to do that. You can just eat this gem apple. They’re very filling.
Marx: … Wait, actually, you’re right. How did I eat three solar systems and none of those?
Magolor: And Drawcia is just sad because… Uh, actually, I don’t know, I’ll just make a giant black hole to eat her. (Does that) SUSIE! I CAN GIVE YOU ALL THE RESOURCES YOU NEED FOR LOW PRICE OF 999,999,999,999 GEM APPLES! IT’S 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 OFF FROM USUAL!
Susie: WHAT AN AMAZING DEAL.
Magolor: Also, that mirror doesn’t matter because all you actually need to do is crack it and everything goes back to normal. (HAMMER THING HAPPENS)
Dedede: Remind me, why were we all so worried, again?
Meta Knight: I guess we don’t really need Kirby. … Huh.
Magolor: (thinking) Little do they know that this is all a plot I’ve been planning for ten years to get my revenge on Kirby for literally killing me twice… HE’LL PAY FOR WHAT HE’S-
(Kirby accidentally snores too hard and eat Magolor)
Meta Knight: …
Adeline: Remember me? I’m still here.
Dedede: I am rather confident that the world as we know it is coming to an end and all of us are going to die.
Meta Knight: That… Was very normal sounding.
Dedede: YOU’RE VERY NORMAL SOUNDING. WA BAM. (He hits Meta Knight with his hammer and Meta Knight literally dies)
Adeline: I’m pretty sure you just killed him. Kirby probably has some extra lives we can borrow, though, right…?
(Kirby picks up a piece of paper that says “No” on it and then eats the paper.)